Kid jokes
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Memes
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.