Kid jokes

"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.

Kid: Dad, where do you work?

Dad: I.C.U.P.

Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

August 2020: LeafyIsHere gets terminated on Youtube for harassing Pokimane.

Billy, a toxic kid in Leafy's fanbase: "Imane's life is a joke, that's why I call her Jokeimane."

A person who simps for Pokimane: "And you look like you came from a farm, Hillbilly."

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.

Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.

Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?

Because they don't have a Father's Day.

Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.

What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?

Life Savers.

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".