Kid jokes

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣

The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.

“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.

Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.

Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.

Me: "/"

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"

The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

What animal can jump the highest?

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.

"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.

I read to deaf kids in my spare time.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?

Life Savers.

What’s the difference between kids and drugs?

I don’t hide drugs in my basement.