Kid jokes

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.

(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

Why did the disabled kid cross the road?

(Why?)

He can't.

The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.

Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?

Motor disease.

What's common in vampires and American kids?

They both don't get old.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.

What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?

The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"