Kid jokes

Can emo kids get happy meals?

Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.

Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!

What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.

Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"

What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?

Play pretend dog in the bed.

Why did the kid cross the road?

Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.

Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?

Snoopy Dog.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?

Kid 2: Never leave home without it.

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”

Have you heard about kids with AIDS?

It never gets old.

Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?

Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."

There is no family.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?