Kid jokes

Daughter: Mommy?

Mom: Hey.

Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?

Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.

Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

What is a fun game for an emo kid?

Tug-o-war with a tree.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.

Then I got fired from the orphanage.

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

Me: "What are you doing??"

Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"

Me: "I don't know."

Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"

Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

Don't bully kids.

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

There was a kid sitting in a corner.

Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"

Orphan: "..."

Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."

That autistic kid having sex for the first time:

"U The Hips, U The Hips!"

What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?

My best friend.

Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.

Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation to the orphanage :)

Remember kids, if ever you're bored, kick an orphan.

Who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Why does the emo kid skip class?

Uder the sheets.

Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.

Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.

SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS

What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"