Kid jokes
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
Why can’t Santa have kids?
He only cums once a year.
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?
They're both gay and use knives.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."
Students: "oof"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Yeah, your parents."
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"