Kid jokes
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
Why do orphans hate smart kids?
Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
Yo mama so stupid, she told the police a kid raped her.
What game do emo kids hate the most?
Life.
Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.
Kid: Runs home.
A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...
If you know, you know.