What’s kid Among Us?
Sugoma dik!
Kid Jokes
The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Kick the chair out from under them.
What is a fun game for an emo kid?
Tug-o-war with a tree.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.
Then I got fired from the orphanage.
How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?
It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.
