Keep Jokes

One day a man was fixing a car, an he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like "dude, this can't be healthy." But he said "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."

Your probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time

I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation , I just need a kid who can keep a secret

A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the fathers back. Keeping calm he tells the sons, "well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled then passed out from pain.

Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?

On a website.

*sans*:why was the skeleton depressed? because frisk keeps reseting and it resets when he lost his phone

I always keep anti fungal spray with me....coz I don't want to share my gf with anyone

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

How to get a girl in three steps: Step 1: grab a pillow Step 2: grab a blanket Step 3: keep dreaming

What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?

Baby Jesus died a virgin

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

you know what I hate about rape? Keeping it a secret.

What did one fish say to the other?

Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving.

IDK

How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it’s a find a word😂😂

My frien liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.

Cashier: Will you want the milk in a bag today sir?

Customer: I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind.

I went to the Dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.