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Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!” Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?” Source: http://jokesfan.com/little-johnny-jokes.html

how does the bunny keep his fur neat

with a hare brush

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why do nuns walk in groups?. So one “ nun” can keep an eye on the other “ nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting “ nun”.

I want to thank all the sidewalks out there for keeping me off the street

A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"

Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.

Gow do you keep tour friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"

so the coach got mad at me cause im the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum and i was just keeping the ball to myself and the coach pulled me aside and said pass to others i said why and he said theres no i in team and i said ya but theres an m e