Keep jokes

Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

Why do we name hurricanes?

To keep an eye on them.

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

Why was the rapper always on time?

Because they had a PHAT BEAT to keep them in check!

What do you call a rapper who can't keep a beat?

A RAPPER-TAP-TAP!

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

I AM SFLUGO FOUNDER OF THE PRO ORPHAN JOKE CLUB. Just want to say that people spamming does nothing and we will keep making our jokes!! #SaveOrphanJokes and please say in the comments if you want to join the club.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.

No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.

Roses are red,

I am dead.

You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?

Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!

If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!

When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.