Keep jokes

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.

Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.

Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.

Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?

Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?

Elementary school kids: School is fun.

Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.

I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.

Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!

Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?

Because they just keep getting harder and harder!

What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?

Keep away from me-hee-hee.

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

Why do we name hurricanes?

To keep an eye on them.

What do you call a rapper who can't keep a beat?

A RAPPER-TAP-TAP!

How does a rapper keep their money safe?

In a RAP VAULT.

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

Why was the rapper always on time?

Because they had a PHAT BEAT to keep them in check!

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

I AM SFLUGO FOUNDER OF THE PRO ORPHAN JOKE CLUB. Just want to say that people spamming does nothing and we will keep making our jokes!! #SaveOrphanJokes and please say in the comments if you want to join the club.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.

No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.