Keep jokes
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
Bro, please block Kimberly Jones. She keeps trying to scam people.
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
I don't have a joke. Keep looking.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Keep calm and curry on!
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
A Chinese wise man once said, "ching chong ling long ting tong," which means, "keep striving in life."
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.