Keep jokes
Bro, please block Kimberly Jones. She keeps trying to scam people.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
Keep yourself safe!
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
Keep calm and curry on!
My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.
A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.
Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
A Chinese wise man once said, "ching chong ling long ting tong," which means, "keep striving in life."
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.