Keep

Keep Jokes

Dad

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, keep being you, let no one discourage you.

People

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

Archer

Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?

"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."

Brake

Why do the brakes keep squealing?

Because the driver hit it too hard.

People

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

Motivation

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

Scam

Bro, please block Kimberly Jones. She keeps trying to scam people.

Baby

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

Penaldo

I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!

Train

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

Mama

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!

Dog

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

Electronics

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

Dog

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

Why?

The ducks keep trying to eat him.

Why would they do that?

Because he’s pure-bread.