Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
Keep Jokes
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
Roses are red, violets are blue, keep being you, let no one discourage you.
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
Bro, please block Kimberly Jones. She keeps trying to scam people.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
I don't have a joke. Keep looking.
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
Keep yourself safe!
