Joke jokes
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."
Memes
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.