Joke jokes
Why did 10 have trauma?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.
What do you call a group of emos about to jump off a bridge? Suicide Squad.
Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
Fat jokes and mom jokes😂
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."