Joke jokes
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
What’s the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
Make this "joke" get 69 comments & 69 likes.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
People are making end of the world jokes, like there's no tomorrow.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door
Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student: The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher: She drowned?!
Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight."
Her friend said "No, it's 666-3629."
I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"