Joke jokes
Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight."
Her friend said "No, it's 666-3629."
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat