Joke jokes
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?
The tree leaves him hanging :)
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
A treatment joke.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.
Denki: Hey, Mineta, I have a joke for you.
Mineta: Go on.
Denki: Uraraka's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it.
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: ^cries T_T^
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!