Joke jokes
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?
There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.
I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Kiwi's forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive. 😏
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
This is an a-maze-ing joke!