Joke jokes
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
Why did the rapper become a mathematician?
To count his STACKS of CASH.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?
A trans-former.
Dark humor is like water: some people get it, and some people don't.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
What do you call a taco in bed?
Es(tá co)stado.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Ukraine will go puff.
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
These are not funny. Those that are adopted feel hurt by these!
You shall feel ashamed of yourself!
Take the L! - Losers
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
I don't think jokes are very funny.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Your mum's hairline was so big that Dora the Explorer could not find it.