Joke jokes
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a nail?
Answer: You can unscrew the nail.
What is yellow and can’t fly?
A school bus.
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Quarantine.
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
Wanna hear a joke...
I don't know, I'm too high.
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suicide Squad.
How can you tell an Asian guy is awake?
You can never tell.
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)
I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).
I gathered some "slapies."
The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!
I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!
I feed it to them!
They overreacted!
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Bye!