Joke jokes
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
Why was the rapper always well-dressed?
Because he knew the importance of FLOW in FASHION.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Smell mop.
Smell mop who?
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
My life is a joke.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!