Joke jokes
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
Why can't two eggs tell jokes?
Because they will crack each other up!
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
What did one emo kid say to the other?
"I like ya cut, G."
What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still falling.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered sex offender.
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.
The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"