my friend was on wheelchair......he committed suicide yesterday, I remember when i met him last time he told us a good joke and i appreciated him and i told him to become stand up comedian.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
This isn't a joke but
I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny so please leave the people writing these alone ðŸ˜
Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic hehe
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb
knock knock who's there? depression.. that's my best friend.
you know what me and my spine both have in common we are both not straight
We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...
Unless you're being raped by a clown.
Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term struggle snuggle
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
-the emo went 2 give the tree a high 5 but the emo was left hanging - how did the gay person die? homocide -why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? he was cutting in line - when does a joke turn into a dad joke? when it leaves and never comes back -I cried when my dad chopped onions. onions was such a good dog -I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away -how is the person over there different the cancer? his dad didn't beat cancer
I hope u like this it took 5 minutes to make. what's_up also has good jokes to favorite him/her/them plz
So little johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!
If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?
Little johnny smiled and said: A bus driver!
So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight ." Her friend said "No, it's 666-3629."
dark humor is like a home not everyone gets it
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? Imma cashew
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today" and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron". Then the first atom said "How Ionic"
