Joke jokes
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
This pun is so bad you're gonna punch me.
What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?
I don't know, you tell me.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
Nah, they eat emo meals.
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
I never understood school shooting jokes.
I guess they were aimed at younger audiences.
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Say "Uranus" but take out the "ur."
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.