Joke jokes
How many times was Bin Laden shot?
911 times.
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
Wanna hear a joooooooke?
Your life.
All my 9/11 jokes seem to fly too low.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Aloneness is not the joke, it's unfortunately my reality.
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
What's a booty's favorite dance move?
THE BUM BOUNCE!
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
What do you call a group of emos?
A Suicide Squad.
You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.