Joke jokes
I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
I don't know, I don't have one.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
What did one emo kid say to the other?
"I like ya cut, G."
Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.
I would tell you an abortion joke, but it was only temporary.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?
An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
Why don't orphans play GTA?
Because they're sad they don't get wanted!
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.