Joke jokes
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
Memes
Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
My life is a joke.
Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.