Joke jokes
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
Memes
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
My life is a joke.
Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.