Joke jokes
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
Memes
those one people that joke around to much
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
"what's that on your wrist?"
"I'm a cutting board. duh"
Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
Want to hear a joke about prostitution? Never mind, it's whoreable.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"