Have you walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Oh, neither did he.
Joke Jokes
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. ๐ฎ
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. ๐
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
๐๐
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?
When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.
I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.
My life is a joke.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
