Joke Jokes

I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store just to take me with him and scan my wrist.

Customer: Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?

Employee: Ma’am, this is an adoption agency, you can’t do that here!

I told a kid his dad I's a magician because he disappeared and never came back home

crappy joke warning how does spongbob have fun he smokes seaweed

My life is a joke.

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

I was beefin wit a dude and a wheel chair so I took his wheel chair and threw it across the street and told him walk it off u will be fine

Q: how many children does it take to shingle a roof? A: depends on how thinly you slice them

got the george floyd pack this shit makin it hard to breathe

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.

What do u call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter its not coming anyways

whats the difference from morbid humor & dark humor

dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container

morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers

When the school shooter misses you but you gotta play it off;

😐😑

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke? Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"

What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.

Wanna hear a good joke?

My dad’s love for me

Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.