Joke jokes
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
Joke.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
My cock, lmao.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Your hairline pushed too far back.
Lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith :D
What do you call a Chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.