Joke jokes
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
My cock, lmao.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
A single sentence walks into a bar.
You want to hear a joke about pizza?
Sorry! Can't tell ya, it's too cheesy!
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"
And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What did the plug hole say to the plug? "We are so in sync."
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...