Joke jokes
For orphans, every bag of chips is family sized.
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Quarantine.
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
My friend died from Ligma!
Ligma balls.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
The time is 9:11, time to put your phones on airplane mode.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.