Joke

Joke jokes

Weight

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

Candice

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

Bill Cosby

Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?

A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!

Kid

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.

Orphan

Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.

Jesus

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture, unfortunately.

Money

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

Orphan

Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?

Wait a minute! What am I talking about?

Kid

There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)

Twin Towers

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?

Elton John is still standing.

Orphan

What's an orphan's favorite meme?

Homer going into a bush.

Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.

Orphan

The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."

Tower

American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!

British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎