Joke jokes
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
What did Mars say to Saturn?
"Give me one of your rings!" 😄
Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?
My friend: What?
Me: The Suicide Squad.
Hey guess what...
What...
My penis is big.
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What did the plug hole say to the plug? "We are so in sync."
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"