Joke jokes
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
What do you call a Muslim in a swimming pool? A bath bomb.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."
Your hairline pushed too far back.
Lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith :D
What do you call a Chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.