Joke jokes
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
My cock, lmao.
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do you call a Muslim in a swimming pool? A bath bomb.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."
Your hairline pushed too far back.
Lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith :D
Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.