Joke jokes
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Kyle's penis is small.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."