Joke

Joke jokes

Windmill

The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"

Base

"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"

"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."

"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."

Conductor

A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."

Math

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

Homeless Guy

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

Difference

What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?

Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.

People

People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.

Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.

War

How does an American know that his time has come?

He starts hearing Vietnamese.

Micheal Jackson

What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.

Lynx

Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).

Penis

After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?

My penis.

Gender

Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.

Heart

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

Baby

What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?

The cat is still alive.

What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?

Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.

Kid

Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.