Joke jokes
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Kyle's penis is small.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
Guys we should stop making orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad... oh wait... Continue 🙂
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
This shit is disgusting but funny.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotofpuss.