Joke jokes

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.

Orphan: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.

Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?

Because he’s dead.

What do classical musicians do when they die?

They decompose.

Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."

What is the best thing about being an orphan?

All bags of chips are family-sized!

What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?

"My bum hurts!"

At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!

I usually tell jokes about Kobe, but they usually crash and burn.

I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I walk 5 miles each day.

But today I ran OVER 5 miles... oops!

What’s one good thing about a pedophile?

They drive slow in school zones.

I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.

I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.

Wanna hear a poop joke?

Nah, they always stink.

What is never ordered in an orphanage?

A family sized pizza!

I have a really good construction joke.

But I'm still working on it.

My aunt worked as a human cannonball.

I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.

Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?

A: They drive slow through school zones.