Joke jokes

Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?

Because he’s dead.

I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I walk 5 miles each day.

But today I ran OVER 5 miles... oops!

I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.

What’s one good thing about a pedophile?

They drive slow in school zones.

What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.

At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

What's stiff and 6 inches long?

SIDS.

Wanna hear a poop joke?

Nah, they always stink.

What is never ordered in an orphanage?

A family sized pizza!

What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?

I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.

We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.

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Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

My aunt worked as a human cannonball.

I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.

I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.

What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?

Ooh, snickerdoodles!

I have a really good construction joke.

But I'm still working on it.

I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.

What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!