Joke jokes
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
The Earth was flat once. 'Til yo mama got buried.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)
Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Dad: Don't know, why?
Son: Because they taste funny.
I am the orphan joke.
One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.