Joke jokes
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
The Earth was flat once. 'Til yo mama got buried.