Joke jokes
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!
When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.
Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What do you call a girl furry?
A pussy cat.
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
What's an orphan's least favorite meme? "Family."
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.