Joke jokes
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.