Joke jokes
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? An apple gets picked.
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
Me: Are you okay?
Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out," I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.