Joke jokes
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
...
Why did Sally fall off of the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Sally.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
We don't read backwards.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.