Joke jokes
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.
Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.