Joke jokes
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.