My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Joke Jokes
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
What do you call a feminist? A Karen.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
All of the people disliking this category are probably emo.
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
Meals on wheels.
