Joke jokes
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
Why did the math book kill itself?
It had too many problems.
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.