Joke

Joke jokes

Body

Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.

Mate

It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.

Covid

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

Orphan

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

Orphan

Me: Hey, are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

Orphan

Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?

A: To get to the other side to find his parents.

There was no other side of the road.

Dad

Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!

Viagra

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

Christmas Tree

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

Mother-in-law

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

Comma

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Cow

What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.

Butterfly

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

Cow

What did the cow say to the leather chair?

“Hi Mom!”