Joke jokes
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
There are 206 bones in my body.
When I look at you, it becomes 207.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.