Joke jokes
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Why did Sally fall off of the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Sally.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
There are 206 bones in my body.
When I look at you, it becomes 207.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?