How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
Joke Jokes
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
So, Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
