Joke Jokes

What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.

My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"

What do you call a sick eagle?

Ill-eagle! 😂

How do angels 😇 make holy water 💧?

They boil the hell out of it.

Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.

People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."

I know it's really, really, really, really bad.

What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?

“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?

The first is easier to bury.

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."