Joke jokes
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?
A party popper.
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
...
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.