Joke jokes
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
In 2021, we won't need an April Fool's prank. Just think of Joe Biden and call it a day.
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.
It doesn’t have a home button.