Joke jokes
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
So, a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "Alright, so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "Okay, here you go." So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
How do angels 😇 make holy water 💧?
They boil the hell out of it.
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.