Joke jokes
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?
gay now, heterosexual later.
I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!