Joke jokes

What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha.

I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.

But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?

I don't bowl.

Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅

Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.

What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?

gay now, heterosexual later.

I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.

Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.

I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.

What do you call a cow that eats grass?

A lawn mooer.

What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry.

Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.

My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...

So I threw a carrot at her.

Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.

What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."

A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."

The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."

The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."

The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"

The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”