Joke jokes

What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?

Shooting up schoolchildren.

Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.

I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."

What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?

Hobo Fett!

A pun enters the room and kills ten people.

Pun in, ten dead.

What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?

One stops sucking when you smack it.

What's fast and almost got away?

A Mexican jumping the border.

By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.

What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.

what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?

I don't bowl.

Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.

What do you call suicidal Hitler?

Slitler.

So, Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha.

Why can't an orphan have sex?

Because they can't scream "daddy!"