Joke jokes

What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

Snowballs!

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."

Old soviet joke.

"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.

What's an emo's favorite game?

Limbo.

(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)

POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."

My sister told me a joke.

All she said was "my life."

My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.

Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.

Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.

Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

What do you call a spaceman’s willy?

A Shuttlecock!

My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.

Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.

Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.