Joke jokes
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
Wanna hear a joke?
Feminism.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
What does a blind man say when he passes the fish market?...."Hello ladies!"
What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?
You can hear a hormone.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die.