Wanna hear a joke?
Feminism.
Joke Jokes
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
What does a blind man say when he passes the fish market?...."Hello ladies!"
What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?
You can hear a hormone.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
