Joke jokes
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
Old soviet joke.
"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs!
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.
My life is the joke.
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.