Joke jokes
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.