I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
Joke Jokes
Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
