Joke jokes
I would roast you but you're already so hot.
Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
Wanna hear a joke?
Feminism.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
My life is the joke.