Joke jokes
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What’s an orphan's favorite drink?
Fosters.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for hours.
Light the man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.