Joke jokes
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.