Joke

Joke jokes

Math

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

Day

So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.

Dad

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.

Face

Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.

Pirate

What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?

Others: R.

Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.

Grave

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

Chinese person

What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!

Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.

Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."

Orphan

Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.

Phrase

What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

Time

Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.

It’s all about execution.

Wife

My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.

I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.

Nightmare

Why do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)

Covid19

Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...

Mom

What do you call the worst joke ever?

Well, according to my mom, I am.