Joke jokes
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
Memes
What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?
A dad joke.
What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because he got stuck in a crack.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.
Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."