Joke jokes
What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?
White vans.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
I tried to high-five my emo friend, but he just left me hanging.
Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
What did one depressed kid say to the other?
Hey, wanna hang together?
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.