Joke jokes

I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."

What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?

Some people don’t pick it.

How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.

What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?

White vans.

Here's a sex joke.

What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.

How do you make a sad person jump?

A bridge.

What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!

Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!

Mom: ❓❓❓

I tried to high-five my emo friend, but he just left me hanging.

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

What did one depressed kid say to the other?

Hey, wanna hang together?

What is an orphan's family tree?

A stump.

I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.