Joke jokes

I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?

Some people don’t pick it.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

What does the suicidal person say on New Years?

"New year, no me."

I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."

What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.

What do you call a rich Asian?

Cha-ching!

How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.

I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.

Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.

What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?

They're both dead...

Kobe jokes just don’t land well anymore.

What do you tell a depressed person?

Just hang in there!

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).

Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.

Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?

A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

"Have you taken a bath?"

"No. Why, did one go missing?"