Joke jokes

What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?

White vans.

What is an orphan's family tree?

A stump.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

Here's a sex joke.

What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.

How do you make a sad person jump?

A bridge.

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"

Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."

What did one depressed kid say to the other?

Hey, wanna hang together?

I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?

Some people don’t pick it.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

What does the suicidal person say on New Years?

"New year, no me."

I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."

What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.

What do you call a rich Asian?

Cha-ching!

How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.

I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.