Joke jokes
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
What's the difference between a black dad and a boomerang? A boomerang comes back.
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.