Joke jokes

What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?

They're both fun to flip off.

Girl: "Come over."

Orphan: "I can't."

Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"

Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."

What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?

"Get off me homes."

What is a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"

Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"

Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."

God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."

What did the orphan say to the crippled man?

I suffer from crippling depression.

I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"

Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."

Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?

It can't hit home.

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

Orphan: "Why can’t I watch a PG movie?"

Me: "They are Parental Guidance."

I heard a joke about candy bars, but it wasn't very funny, so I just snickered.

What did the mute man tell the blind man?

Nothing.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn't brown the meat.

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."

Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."

I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.

My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all, and if I could borrow it.

What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?

They are just two plane.