Joke jokes
What’s the difference between morbid humor and dark humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in one trash can, and morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
I love telling jokes about orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.
What is the funniest joke of all time?
Your face.
What does a chicken give you?
Student: Meat.
What does a pig give you?
Student: Bacon.
What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework.
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.