Joke jokes
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
Dark humor is just like water,
some people get it, some people don't.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
Yo, your hairline over here lookin' like the Nile River.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.