Joke jokes

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."

What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.

What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."

Location is in London by the way.

One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.

His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"

This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.

Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?

Her boyfriend was blind too.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn't brown the meat.

Like this if you laughed.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

what do you call a chicken who crossed the road?........suicidal.

I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...

What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.

4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.

What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.

In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?

My dick.

Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"

Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"

Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."

What is a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).

Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."