Joke jokes
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant lady?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.
You were sleeping, it didn't count - Chloe Foxwell 2021:)))))))
I bought a guh on the weekend.
(what's a guh?)
GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?
They are just two plane.
My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all, and if I could borrow it.
Why was 8 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a 6 offender.
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
My favorite joke is my life.