Joke jokes
I heard a joke about candy bars, but it wasn't very funny, so I just snickered.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
Orphan: "Why can’t I watch a PG movie?"
Me: "They are Parental Guidance."
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
what do you see in this picture look carefully im joking just look at the picture happy valentines
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
My favorite joke is my life.
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant lady?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?
They are just two plane.
Why was 8 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a 6 offender.
My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all, and if I could borrow it.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.