Joke

Joke jokes

Abortion

"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.

_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."

  • 6
  • Shotgun

    What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?

    Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.

  • 1
  • Queen

    Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?

    Because she ran out of immortali-tea.

    Phone Number

    A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."

    I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"

  • 3
  • Memes

    Logic

    iNKSTECHSHUB JOKE Women Logic lol Feminism cringe meme dark humour sarcastic iNKSTECHSHUB meme jokes cliché parody dry humour noHate #everyoneシ゚ #love #ts #izzyWilde #jokesfordays #sharethelove

    The image shows two pictures with the text "Women vs. Logic". The first picture shows a woman in a pink bikini with the text "Bikini. No Probs ;)" below it. The second picture shows a woman wrapped in a towel in a shower with the text "Shower. Go Away ;(" below it.

    Mom

    My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.

    Orphan

    If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.

    Double!

    Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

    Triple!

    Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

  • 4
  • Plane

    Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.

    Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.

    Marijuana

    THIS IS A RHYME

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

    Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.

    Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,

    and they had a little fun.

    Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.

    Horse

    Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.

    "Moo!" says the second.

  • 1
  • Wheelchair

    What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?

    Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.

  • 0
  • Orphan

    Girl: "Come over."

    Orphan: "I can't."

    Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"

    Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."

  • 3
  • House

    What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?

    "Get off me homes."

  • 3
  • Light

    What's the difference between light and hard?

    It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.

  • 0
  • McDonald's

    Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"

    Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"

    Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."

  • 1
  • Language

    I heard a joke about candy bars, but it wasn't very funny, so I just snickered.