Joke jokes
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
Memes
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Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
I heard a joke about candy bars, but it wasn't very funny, so I just snickered.