Joke jokes
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
Memes
Always that kid :
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
Orphan: "Why can’t I watch a PG movie?"
Me: "They are Parental Guidance."
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!