Joke jokes

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.

it's not rape if we're both screaming

What type of people think rape jokes are funny?

Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂

I don't like 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.

I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?

What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?

Suicide squad.

My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...

I'm so gay I could barely think straight.

In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?

Father Les.

What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.

What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?

Mourning wood.

What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?

White vans.

What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"

For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.

What do you call a Dino stripper?

A dinowhore.