Joke jokes
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.
Memes
I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...