Joke jokes

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

I tried to catch fog, I mist...

Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

Son: Mom, what is dark humor?

Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?

Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!

Mom: Exactly!

A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”

What did the blind man fight in the bar?

The coat rack.

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?

Father Les.

I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.

I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.

You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣

What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?

Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.

What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?

Oh sheet!

If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?

A: It left him/her/them hanging.

I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.