Joke jokes
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Memes
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.