Joke jokes
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?
Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
If you're ever angry, go ahead and punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."