Joke jokes
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
“I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body” = you’re a weak man who was blindly brainwashed into being a woke joke.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."
This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.