Joke jokes
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
Memes
Found a good definition of the jokes here while listening to Without Me by Eminem
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.