Job jokes

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".

When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.

What is a Care Bear's favorite job?

Take care of bears.

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

- Sure.

Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]

Who do you call to clean up foul language?

A cuss-todian!

I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!

Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.

My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...

I work at a movie studio.

Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.

The team:

I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.

But I got fired from that job.

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY.

Watchdogs.

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.

Kid: How much do you get paid?

Teacher: Minimum wage.

I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.