Job jokes
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.
The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"
Memes
Boss: Have a good day.
Me: *goes home*
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?
Because he wanted to make some rap deposits!
Why did the rapper become a plumber?
Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because he loved to drop FRESH CUTS.
I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...
Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com
A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.
A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion?
Because it was OUTSTANDING in the field! 💀💀😂😂😂😂😂
Why was the barber mad because I gave him a buzzcut?
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?