Job jokes

- I work with animals.

- Great! What job?

- A butcher.

You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.

My job is so amazing.

Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)

If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?

A master baiter.

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?

Because he wanted to make some rap deposits!

Why do asses make terrible spies?

Because they always CRACK under pressure.

I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...

Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com

A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.

A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".

When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

- Sure.

Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]

Who do you call to clean up foul language?

A cuss-todian!

I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!

Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.