Job jokes
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES.
Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?
Because he wanted to make some rap deposits!
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
What is the definition of kinky according to a Canadian?
Giving a blowjob to a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise.
Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.
My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
Literally the most popular job: YouTube.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Boss: Have a good day.
Me: *goes home*
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."
The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.