I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
Looks like URL encoding is enabled for special characters inside comments. Good job to whoever developed this website!
My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...
One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.
It got too out of hand and I got spanked.
I work at a movie studio.
Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.
The team:
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
Watchdogs.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY.
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
What job lets you kill the most people?
An abortion doctor.
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Why did the booty get a job?
To make ends meet!
A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.
I had to fix his collarbone.
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.
