Job jokes
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.
My dad died in 9/11.
He was a good pilot.
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.
The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.
Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?
Because he wanted to make some rap deposits!
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
Boss: Have a good day.
Me: *goes home*
Why did the rapper become a plumber?
Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.
My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.