Job Jokes

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

Why do asses make terrible spies?

Because they always CRACK under pressure.

I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.

He’s used to penetrating aggressively.

My friend dreamed of being a porno star.

He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.

The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)

The image shows a progression of Spongebob Squarepants through different stages of education and finally work. In elementary school, Spongebob looks innocent next to simple math equations. In middle school, he's confused next to a quadratic equation. In high school, he looks muscular next to a complex integral. In college, he appears even more powerful next to another integral. Finally, in a job, he looks bored next to a list of office supplies and their costs.

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

Boss: Have a good day.

Me: *goes home*

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...

Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com

A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.

A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.