Job jokes
Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
Meme time
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
I got to work.
Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.
Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.
Boss: Have a nice day.
Ben: Ok, bye!
Boss:??
Do you know how to make a plumber cry?
Kill his family.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.
Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?
Sorry, still working on it!
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.