Itself jokes

Milk

Maybe Soy Milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish! (Soy means "I am" in Spanish).

Fandom

Apex Legends: exists.

Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."

Memes

Grass

What’s the difference between me and grass? Grass doesn’t cut itself.

Pizza

What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.

Grass

I wish the grass in my yard was emo. It could just cut itself.

Emo kid

What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?

The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.

Israel

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

Bomb

President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!

Man: We have the power of the sun itself!

President: Drop it on them!

Man: You push the button.

President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.

Man: Hands over button

President: Pushes it

Both: YAAA!

President: Bumps into the button pressing it again

Both: Oh, sh*t!

Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off

Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again

History

"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."

Orphan

Why can’t orphans have a house pet?

Because its parents have it to itself.