Itself jokes
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
Emo grass cuts itself, while transgender laundry hangs itself.
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims?
It blows itself up!!
Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.
I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.
Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.
It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Why did the math book kill itself?
It had too many problems.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
I wish the grass in my yard was emo. It could just cut itself.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.