it's jokes
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.
When does Stephen Hawking cross the road?
When it says "DON'T WALK."
poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?
pOOp
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter. It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
Yo hairline so bent even Bob the Builder can’t fix it!
This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
Why did the 767 fly into the towers?
Because a310 dared it to.
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Just before lockdown began, a woman took her 15-year-old son, Tom, and 14, 16, and 18-year-old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.
The weekly family Zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14-year-old was looking a little...plump. By the 20th week, the 16-year-old's shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18-year-old's belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14-year-old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.
So the father waited until he'd talked to his wife and daughters, and then asked if he could talk to his son alone.
"Look, I know your mom and the girls are all pregnant. I'm not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don't have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?"
"No, Pop, we haven't seen anyone since we left the city," his son told him earnestly. "And we sure haven't gone into town for supplies, I ran out of condoms on the second day here!"
What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
Why is Viagra just like Disneyland?
It's a 1 hour wait for a 5 minute ride.