it's jokes
I need to go to the tailor, or so it seams.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.
I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?
Panera is dead.
September 11th is the superior birthday because no one forgets it. #flexingonyoubitches ;)
Biden and Trump.
That's it. That's the joke.
I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.
What did the drum name its children? Anna 1, Anna 2.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"