it's jokes
Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when I was born.
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."
Knock knock.
Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.
Grim Reaper who?
The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"
And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
There are 206 bones in my body.
When I look at you, it becomes 207.
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
"Aww, it's a boy, let me cut off the ombelicul cored, sir, that's his penis!"
"It's a girl."
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.