it's jokes
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.
It worked.
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
Why is it so difficult to watch hentai?
They moan louder than your speakers.
A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never comes back.
What time is it when you walk into a wall? Time to get to bed!
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.